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4月22日 All Hail Toast, in all its many forms"OK! Time to take the bread out of the
plastic. There are generally two varieties of objects used to hold the
plastic bag closed, they are the twist tie, and the square thingy with
the hole in the middle that always seems to cut my fingers when I try
and pull it off the bag because all I want is some FREAKING TOAST!
Anyway, make all attempts to purchase bread wich is held closed by a
twist tie. Now place the bread on a counter or table infront of you. Do
not attempt to open the bread while it is on a counter or table behind
you. You should notice that the twist tie is looped around the plastic
bag, and has two arms used to both twist and untwist the tie. Take one
of the arms in each hand, and unravel the twist tie. It is possible you
will choose the wrong way, in fact it is inevitable that out of two
possible ways to untwist the tie you will end up twisting the tie
tighter at least three times before getting it right. When you finally get the tie untwisted, resist the urge you will have to shove the twist tie into your eye socket. I know your friend told you that's how its done. I know he said its the only way to get the toast out of the bag but he is a liar and you are stupid. He didn't write a book now did he? No." Taken from A Morons Guide to Toast
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